Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Selfless Selfishness: Taking Care of Myself Too

I feel that as a new-ish/young-ish/stay-at-home mom I get conflicting advice. "Take care of yourself first" "Motherhood is about sacrifice" "Sleep when the baby sleeps"  "Use their nap time to get stuff done around the house" "Make sure you don't skip date nights" "Spend every moment you can with them, they grow up so fast" "Find YOU time" "Join a playgroup" "Get out of the house" "Keep baby on a schedule"... I would like to point out that doing both of the last two is extremely challenging with a kid who conks out as soon as she is buckled into the car seat or decides to scream bloody murder the whole 20min trip across town. Or maybe that's just us?
Ara Conked Out Last Winter


This week I've been trying to take advantage of the times I have to rest. What I hate about doing so is that I feel guilty if I just go to bed instead of "getting something done". I have also taken time to paint my toenails for the first time since last summer and showered every day this week.  It may seem arbitrary but these small yet mighty victories make me feel like I haven't given up on myself.

Painted Toes!

You hear it all the time, or at least I did. Woman has baby then suddenly completely lets herself "go" to become solely a mom. My Mama constantly told me not to let that happen because that's what she did and she regretted not taking care of herself because all of her focus was on me. Now I am very aware that this could be taken completely the wrong way... so let me clarify a bit with a lovely analogy taken from Moms' Night Out:

When flight attendants give the safety spiel regarding air masks they make a point to tell you to put on your own air mask before assisting others. You can't help them if you can't breathe.

Flight Safety

So I'm not saying that I'm trying to be selfish in a negative way, but rather in a way that better enables me to do what I need to do.

This past week I got an awful sunburn because I forgot to put on my own air mask/sunscreen... Ara got covered real good and I was constantly checking that she was shaded, but I however came home with a nasty burn that is now itchy and peeling (grrrr). I COMPLETELY didn't even think about myself AT ALL, and in a way that kind of terrifies me.

The Burn of 2014

So I've showered everyday and painted my tootsies. What are some other ideas of things that you can do for yourself that help you breathe? What are your air masks? Mine currently need to be free... but do you get massages? pedicures? gym memberships? What are some cheap/non time consuming ways to make you feel like you haven't given up?

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Monday, May 19, 2014

Encouragement: Be Confident

This past week a group of moms from our church went to go see "Moms' Night Out" and I got some much needed seeds planted in my head. Seeds that most certainly would already be there if I was the good Christian Mama I'm supposed to be and opened my Bible more frequently, but I find that sometimes God will meet you where you are instead of waiting for you to beat around the bush and last week was one of those times.

screen shot from "Moms' Night Out"

The 5 second version of the movie (the one with only the points that struck home for me and perhaps made me tear up a bit) is this:

  • You don't have to be perfect.
  • You are the Mama your kid/s are meant to have.
  • You are adequate.
  • You are enough.
  • Your job is important.


Listing them out like this makes it all look very simple and succinct, but these are insecurities I fight with everyday and I know I am not alone. I am not alone because I know other Moms feel the same way, but I am not alone because I know that God is with me. I am really just learning, however, how to be confident.



Not cocky know-it-all tell other moms how to be kind of confidence, but rather the kind that feels secure and at peace knowing that I'm doing all I can and the rest is in God's hands. The confidence that understands that I'm not going to be the same kind of mom as Susie Perfect Homemaker because God made me unique.


My Mama gave me Joyce Meyer's "The Confident Mom" book and I just, like 3 minutes ago JUST, started reading and I'll most likely post more about my "aha! moments" while reading but for right now:

"Today, just as during biblical times, there's no such thing as a stereotypical Christian mom. Victorious, confident mothers come in all varieties and personalities. All it takes is one look at how people who've achieved notable success describe their mothers, and we see how strikingly diverse moms can be:

    • Abraham Lincoln said his was an "angel."
    • Andrew Jackson described his as "brave as a lioness."
    • Poet Maya Angelou compared hers to "a hurricane in its perfect power."
    • Stevie Wonder called his a "sweet flower of love."


Those statements make it clear: You don't have to have a certain kind of personality to be a great mom."



I think I have been trying too hard to be the mom I see in my head... or maybe just trying to be the perfect combination of my Mama and my Mamaw. I don't know exactly who I was trying to be but I'm really going to start trying to be who I am:

A complex and multi-faceted human being with strong passions, a big heart and desire to always do my best and be in the palm of God's capable hand.


Monday, May 12, 2014

My Awesome Mother's Day: Runway, Lunch & Treats

My 2nd Mother's Day started at 6:45am, skipping a needed shower and taking more Prednisone (lovely steroid to help me get over asthmatic bronchitus that I tend to get 1-2 times a year... it makes me sweat, hunger for any and all edible substance & general other "roid rage"ing side affects). Not necessarily an ideal start, however, everything was exactly as it should be and I don't think I could imagine a better day.

Runway:


Capital City Church (our home church), recruited me to help organize and put together a runway show depicting women's fashions from each decade within the last century.  The runway show was interspersed throughout the sermon (preached by Starla Salyers & Elena Hart) that discussed seizing your individuality (You don't necessarily HAVE to have the name brand jeans/same personality has everyone else), your calling (Women have choices today that they didn't have in the past. We can be mom, working lady or even both, but we are gonna be better off if we let God show us what He has for us), your possibilities (We shouldn't limit ourselves to what we think.... God is bigger and has so much more than anything we can imagine) and ultimately seizing today and each and every day God calls you to be in a relationship with Him (People change almost as quickly as fashions, but God stays the same. We should make sure that the changes that God helps us to make on the inside are as visible on the outside as the trends of 80's shoulder pads and 90's blossom hats.)

The Stage Set to Go: Big Thank You to Costume Holiday House who Lent Us almost All of the Dresses on Display!


We had very little budget, so many of the dresses were purchased from the local thrift stores, and I got to dress a few ladies in old prom dresses and accessories of mine, but most emotionally (for my mom & I) were the dresses I got to put on women that were once my Mammaw's. My Mammaw's 1950's prom dress was steamed and put on display, her wedding dress was worn by a beautiful (inside & out) volunteer model, Jill and one of her "Tupperware Formal" dresses was worn by a close friend in the church, Natasha. I told my mom after I had fit the garments on the women that it was really quite shocking and touching to see the dresses "come to life" but those words could not fully prepare her for the visual impact of seeing them along with much of her large collection of vintage purses, hats, gloves & jewelry walk down the runway. Mammaw would have loved it and felt so proud that items that she kept (she was a bit of a valuable hoarder) could be used not only to look pretty but to be a part of a poignant message to women.  My Mama, of course, cried and had to take pictures of the models and pieces on display. It was very emotional and wonderful to see her lovingly caress these pieces that belonged to her Mama, my Mammaw.

Elsie (1960's) Tricia (1980's) Autumn (1910) & Michelle (Just Awesome)
Tricia (1980's w. Baby Prop) Jill (1950's/My Mammaw's Wedding Dress)

I have to say that I LOVED working on this project. Yes it was like designing a large theatrical production with hardly any budget and yes, technically I was working with non-models/non-professionals and yes I did have to do a handful of alterations, HOWEVER, I got to meet a large number of women and young ladies in our church and I am so honored to have had the opportunity to get to know and work with them. Some people could be snarky and say "a bunch of snooty Upper Arlington ladies" in a derogatory manner, however these ladies were on time, modest (in a non-annoying/still let me do my job way), kind, polite, appreciative, enthusiastic, willing to look "silly" or "matronly" to fit the decade and I didn't hear one complain or say anything "bad" about what they were wearing (and unfortunately I HAVE worked with professional models & actors who did not exhibit the professional poise that these 23 beautiful women did). On top of this honor Starla & Elena brought me up afterwards and thanked me in front of the whole congregation & gave me a gorgeous bouquet of Tulips (I cried). No I wasn't monetarily paid but that small gesture of recognition on Mother's Day in front of my Mama & Daughter felt like a million bucks.

My Pretty Tulips f/ Capital City Church

All the beautiful Ladies! 1910-2010


Lunch: 

We had a small cookout at our apartment! It was the first time that we "officially" had company over for a meal since we moved in & I'm excited to do it more often as we are capable. In preparation Donnie took care of Ara while I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. Hanging curtains, pictures & shelves, putting out knick knacks, dusting, vacuuming, organizing & prepping food was chaotic, but to be honest I was a little high off of the productivity and momentum of not being interrupted by baby.

I marinated chicken breasts in terriyaki sauce and we had them along with beer boiled brats, pasta salad & tomato/cucumber greek salad. I then baked a box cake because it sounded delish. I completely forgot to cut up the watermelon! However, I think everyone had a pretty good time. We gave cards to my mom-in-law, Kim and my Mama, and I got two lovely cards, some spending money & my first Clarisonic micro-derm-abrasion thinger-ma-bobber along with 2 dozen roses from Ara & Donnie (a dozen from each... I'm going to be overwhelmed if we have more kids lol)

Mama & I went out to visit a discount store (I got an umbrella for our table on the back patio and some other pretty odds & ends for the apartment) & stopped and got ice cream at McDonald's. All in all: a very relaxing afternoon with loved ones.

Beautiful Roses from Donnie & Ara


Later:

I called my Gramma Sue in Kansas, Donnie called his Grandma Rosemary in Rochester and Ara babbled in the background :) Donnie & I went out to Target with Ara to spend the money that was totally burning a hole in my pocket (I got a new purse/book-bag) & then ducked into Max & Erma's both to get out of the rain & use the rest of a gift cards we've had since Christmas. Dinner was really nice. Ara had her first corndog (cut up of course) and I got a white carnation to add to all my other beautiful flowers.

I washed my face with my fancy doo-wop & have decided that I don't know what a face lift feels like but after using this device I feel like I've had a mini awesome one. I then Laid down (while Donnie put le babe to bed) played on facebook and went to bed.... ahhhhhh yes.

My Pretty White Carnation f/ Max & Erma's

Summary:

I am a very happy, very blessed and very content Mama. Who really hopes that I'll be posting more pics of the runway later :)


Wednesday, May 7, 2014

An Unexpected Pick Me Up: The Power of Stemware

A few weeks ago I had a multi-night rose wine tasting party (4 sample sized containers of various types of pink wines) I thus was finally using one of the very nice wine glasses we got for our wedding almost 5yrs ago. Since running out of wine and not having the desire to spend any of our dwindling funds on more I have taken to drinking water out of wine glasses.... I have a few thoughts I would like to share about this:


  1. Why haven't I been doing this since I was 16?!!!! Holding a wine glass and feeling that fine delicate shape in my hand automatically makes me feel more fabulous and grown up. Also as I am around baby all the time... I really need to take any moment I can to still feel like I belong in the adult world.
  2. I feel like the water tastes colder and better. Maybe this is residual from all the positive feelings mentioned in number 1?
  3. It makes me feel unique and special... as if I'm treating myself by using something nice just for me. Silly but I guess this has something to do with really not using these glasses very much in the past years.
  4. I'm hoping that God will decide to turn the water into wine. I mean He has done it before (ok not for me, but we've all heard the story) and why not? Sure would brighten my day :) Maybe He is just waiting for my cold and achy ankle to subside so that I'm not on meds that don't mix well with alcohol. God's thoughtful like that.
  5. I have also experienced a new gray area as a mom: Ara has started wanting to drink water out of cups/glasses. Soooooo yep my little just over one year old has also been drinking water out of a wine glass. I hope we don't have any nosey neighbors who think the worst and report us... lol :/
  6. Just like with wine.... the bigger wine glass is totally better regardless of whether it is the "appropriate" glass or not. (I tend to guzzle wine... er... water. :D)
  7. In Closing: Yes Husbie makes fun of me, but this little thing makes me smile... and I highly recommend it :) Well unless you can afford wine. By all means drink wine (in moderation) ;)